hello world
yes, this is a blog. i don’t know what i’m gonna end up using this for, and perhaps it will lie in dormancy until i really have something important to express, but this is the first one so i might as well have some fun. there is something so crazy about typing out words and putting them on the internet for others to see… the concept of a blog seems so fucking ancient to me. what year is it, 2005? as ridiculous as it seems, it really is an intuitive way to share longform thought and expand on ideas.
as a disclaimer: i don’t really like using capital letters, unless its ALL CAPS AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO YELL ABOUT. i fully understand that it is in no way conducive to readability. if i have something important to say i will consider, but until then i shall do what i want because i have full creative control of this small notch in the internet. i also do NOT apologize for any subsequent syntactical or grammatical errors.
im going thru some changes right now. in my work, but in my life as well. i’m quite a lonely guy and the early-onset darkness brought forth by the changing seasons is not helping. to caveat such a depressing statement, i do find great solace in this solitude and in a lot of cases it pushes my art to places where i would otherwise be scared to go. i’m finding that i do need a lot of alone time to be who i really am. perhaps that whole thing is maybe better saved for a different blog post all together. ok, back to what i was saying before i turned this into a journal entry… the changes. you know those periods of your life where you can feel everything spinning around you and all you can do is sit there in the middle, still, and try your best to not jump off the metaphorical bridge into the deep end. yeah, that’s right where i’m at. i’ve given up trying to make sense of it and instead i’m allowing the path to take me where i’m supposed to go and the rest will resolve as its supposed to.
i’ve been trying to find some ideas for expanding the world of my art. i feel like there is a thread running through all my work and i’m looking to distill that to its essence and send this whole fucking operation to the stratosphere. so what am i trying to work through? well this is the crux of my problem right now; i haven’t found the capacity to express my ideas cogently typically resulting in me rambling (you are now reading exhibit A)to others or myself. maybe ill try bullet points to make it as concise as i can:
develop my technique to be able to clearly express my ideas (right now its writing, drawing faces, perspective… all the boring shit i would have learned if i had known i would be an artist 5-10 years ago)
develop a coherent brand that allows for my aesthetic and vision to be clearly communicated (without these long winded rants)
use said brand to develop a world for viewers to deeply experience my creative process
surrender to the learning process instead of chasing immediate gratification
something something network, something something net worth
something something spouse, kids, house, car, inner peace
some other stuff, idk…
this is exactly what i mean… what AM i doing?
as for right now, i have no clue. and that’s okay. here’s to the meantime. here’s to the space between. here’s to all of you who had to suffer through this absolute shit post. what did you expect? its a blog from an asshole with an internet connection and a glass of wine.
anyway, enjoy the rest of your day. more important words should come soon, and hopefully, ideas with more impact.
zest, over and out.
ps: no zest = light bag
